Sometimes it seems as if making multiple calls, never receiving
a straight answer, being ignored, and getting the runaround
are all 'job requirements' of my unemployment.

It's not uncommon to have folks be openly hostile, or never
return a call, a letter, or e-mail ever.

I'm already stressed and depressed and fighting  hard to keep my calm.
I certainly don't need condescending or incompetent or
indifferent folks (usually it's 'all of the above') treating me as
though I am a distraction to their day, when in fact they are
receiving a paycheck for providing me assistance. (Or rather,
they're receiving a paycheck for maintaining the illusion that they
are there to provide me with assistance.)

In a small town, you have a lot of 'gatekeepers' who get just a
little bit full of themselves, drunk on the power of whether or
not messages get delivered, resume's get handed in, etc. They start
to think their shit doesn't stink, and, furthermore, that you ought to
act accordingly.

Too bad there's no paycheck for dealing with all this circus, because
it's for damned sure hard work!

I am not, nor have I ever been, someone who is a people person.

I don't 'do' (mostly because I'm no good at it) the glad-handing,
baby-kissing, fake-ass manipulation of people that seems a necessity
for finding, getting, and maintaining even the most pedestrian of jobs.

Yet it isn't the public I have trouble with; it's the staff. The secretaries, the
coworkers, the managers, the owners; the folks who need to have their
assholes polished with other peoples' tongues in order for them to act
halfway right.

Then there's the nonsense factor that cultural and regional issues can
interfere with how folks act; no matter how sweet and kindly and pro-
fessional you are, some things like race, sex, age, sexuality, etc. are
not cottoned to by others, and your workplace experience will be an
uphill climb. Your personal business affects your job, even if you are
not the one to introduce it!
(Most people just can't get comfortable with someone that doesn't look,
act, or speak exactly like them.)

Yup, jobs are all about bureaucracy, bullshit, back-stabbing, bullying...
It's life. It's designed to break you; Don't let it.

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Start Small

Some days are tougher than others--
there's no denying that.

When reality hits after waking from a
troubled sleep, and everything hurts....
when nothing seems to be going right, and
there seems to be no control you have over
anything....

Think Small.

Instead of getting overloaded and whelmed by
all that seems insurmountable, focus on what
you can do.

I pull myself out of my despair, and start by
making my bed. That's one task accomplished.
Screw how 'simple' that is; I did it.

Then I take care of the animals, clean up,
bathe, eat properly, pick out clothes, and
all the other things I am capable of doing and
I move through it. I check off the achievement
in my head and feel a sense of success.

I make a point to get out of the house with
at least a handful of tasks in mind.

Movement.
Activity.
Accomplishment.

It may not be solving the big problems, but it's
better than sitting and dwelling on a sense of
hopelessness about the things that I can't seem
to effect.

When I feel better about the little victories, I'm
in a much better position to take on the more
daunting tasks, and the frustration that seems
inherent in them!

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