Please DO Readjust Your Set

Because of the trap of comparing ourselves to others
(and their success) and the materialistic, consumer-
based, competitive world we live in, many of us consider
ourselves less successful and less of a provider when
we are unable to maintain the same lifestyles as before.

But the physical objects and the ability to keep pace 
really are beyond insignificant in the scheme of things.

After you recuperate from the shock and the depression
of the drastic changes your life has undergone, lift yourself
up and re-establish your spirit, your character, your stamina,
your energy is what will make the difference in carving out
a new life for yourself.

Never giving in to despair and defeat no matter how hard
the fight or how steep the climb. Continuing to embolden
yourself and stay optimistic, someone that you can be proud
of, even if in a new context, part of a new paradigm.

Remembering that you have value intrinsic to your existence,
and it has nothing to do with income level or how others
perceive you.  Recalibrate to understand that.

*******************************************

Tough Love

Are you depressed?
Tired?
Unmotivated?
Listless?
In Pain?

Well, get up off your ass , get outta the bed, and
find something to do, anyway. And if you haven't
been doing so, get out of the house.

Fresh air, interaction, accomplishment, mobility, and
change of scenery are requirements for keeping the
demons at bay.

I speak from experience when I say it's an everyday
struggle to keep feelings and circumstance from
doing me in. We can't be ruled by emotion or fears.
Make yourself get up, drill sergeant style.

Whatever it takes to generate movement.
Activity is crucial to feeling better and accomplished.

To start moving is a magical.
Survival begins with refusing defeat.
You don't need a long-term plan to just start moving.

*************************************

Who's In Charge of Your Workshop?

As a realist and a cynic, I see things for what they are,
not the feel-good facade often promoted. I see the world
stripped bare of pretense.

Sometimes, that harshness threatens to consume me.

When you're going a spell without work, when having nothing
of value to occupy your mind (or hands,) when questioning your
worth based on the normal tenants of what people in our society
are 'supposed' to have in their lives....things can get rough.

When you're an unemployed person--shifted out of normal
society as we are--separate, detached, lost...you can lose
your grip on the world very easily...and quickly.

We have to work overtime to make sure that doesn't happen.
Any or all of these tips that can help are ways to avoid having
the situation get to you.

*Occupy yourself; keep busy and productive
*Reinforce your best attributes; stop beating yourself up
*Surround yourself with correct things, not negatives
*Keep working on what's important to you
*Don't let yourself go; maintain hygiene and house cleaning
*Keep to a schedule
*Keep working on goals
*Do something body-wise like exercise
*Do something for your mind like learning a new word, language, etc.
*Do something spirit-wise, like meditation
*Do something fun or freeing, like laugh, dance, or draw

You may not feel like doing any of these things, but just as a
job is sometimes a means to a paycheck, sometimes in life we
have to do the groundwork for a better outcome, even when we
don't feel motivated.

Make taking care of yourself your new full-time job.

*************************************************

Gary Allan - "Every Storm Runs Out Of Rain"

No matter how committed you are, there are days when you wake up
and just "aren't feeling it."

When you think "Why bother?" and bemoan your self-diagnosed
terminal condition of "Nothing is ever going to change, no matter what I do!"
And those are the days where you have to make yourself do it,
despite the feeling lacking.

When you have to remember whatever inspires you, like maybe
the words to a good song, and hold it closer.

"Feel the apathy, and DO IT anyway!"

Get up. Get moving. Get active and stay that way.

*********************************************************

Begging and Choosing

People have assumptions about both the giver--
and receiver--of assistance.

Be sure to weigh carefully the actual need versus convenience of a
handout when accepting charity of any sort. Nothing is ever actually
free.

Unless you're truly desperate, don't open yourself up as needy or
in dire straits to those in charge of doling out the handouts.
(There's a difference between asking for references, job openings,
or being hired as a favor, as opposed to something tangible like food
or cash.)

Everybody has an angle they're working and an agenda in mind, and
that includes people volunteering/working at a charitable organization.
For some, it's a desire to feel superior to others, for others, it's a want
of finding out the business of people in the community.

Sometimes, maintaining a psychological edge over opponents,
potential bosses, former co-workers, neighbors, etc. is a means of
keeping not only dignity but the upper hand for future business dealings.
Reputation still has its uses.

Just be aware of the dilemma and weigh your options carefully.
You surely don't want to end up the target of gossip, speculation, or
having your personal business bandied about town, especially in a smaller
community. There is no understanding of anonymity or common courtesy
requisite in any agency's dealings, especially a church's.

In a small town in particular, it's easy to have folks fall in love with the
notion of labelling you a 'poor thing' or refer to you as 'pitiful.'
"His luck is so bad; don't you know I saw him down at the church
getting rotten fruit!"  Avoiding such irreversible mindsets is preferable,
if you can help it.

People will pigeon-hole you and write you off any chance they get.
Don't let them.

(And of course the other side is "Fuck 'em whatever they think or
have to say!" But not everyone is ready for that!)

***************************************************

"Don't Get it Twisted"

The desire to self-medicate (or let oneself go) can be pretty
strong when so much of your world is spinning out of control.

The only thing left to do after countless, seemingly pointless
interviews, business start-ups, networking, and applying for
work can seem to be something that will make us 'feel better'
and, hopefully, distract from the harshness of reality. (Or,
in many cases, the surreal, subjective sense of 'reality' we are
burdened by in our fugue state.)

You feel shitty on the insides, so letting the outside reflect
it (or not even noticing it's happening) can sneak up on you.

But our obligation is to self, and health and care of self.
While short-term stress relievers can alleviate the distorted
image of ourselves we develop from constant rejection and
(perceived) failure, the long-term effects don't serve us in the
least.

While I have maintained my sobriety and stayed clean from
drugs, the temptation to 'treat' myself with unhealthy foods
as a quick-fix comfort solution has been a difficult beast to
tame. And of course, bad eating habits spiral into bad sleeping,
bad body chemistry, sluggishness, and more. We can do
ourselves far more harm than good.

I find myself channeling the old Bette Midler skit;
"Why bother ?!"

Same for being sedentary and not keeping our body in
shape, active, etc. We feel the effects of that. Our depression
may keep us from feeling a desire to participate, but our
knowledge of what's best has to rouse us from our slumber.

It's basic, and easier said than done;
*Keeping up appearance and hygiene.
*Keeping active.
*Staying connected to people as much as possible
   (or finding new contacts!)
*Moderate eating
*Keeping spirits up with positive activity, music, thoughts
*Moderate alcohol consumption (or abstaining if you have
     issues.)
*And I would caution people to stay away from any drug
    proclivities all together; between cost, risk of addiction
    and dependence, and effects on work readiness, it's
    just a disaster waiting to happen.
*Processing emotions through therapy, journaling, blogging,
   online support groups, etc; Don't hang on to it all!

Sometimes the act of taking care of self has to be implemented
before we feel like taking care of self.

Treat yourself right and start today; whether or not the work
is forthcoming, you still have to live in your body!

(And obviously, the better you take care of yourself, the more
likely hiring or starting up a business is, compared to the alterna-
tive of letting yourself go!)
******************************************************

It's Blinders, Not Blindness

These times may seem insurmountable.

They aren't.

This can seem like the end of the road...

It isn't.

Dreams can crumble,

old friends are disappearing,

hope is a rare commodity

(or perhaps even a distant memory.)

Survival...merely staying afloat...

can seem a strangely unattainable and

even undesirable notion.

("How will this ever work out?")

Ideas don't seem to manifest,

'nothing' seems to bear results,

opportunities seem to have ended.

But, this...this is NOT the end.

Your view is distorted by the experiences

you have endured. By the surroundings

you are 'stuck' in now.

Right now, no end is in sight.

The outcomes seem dark and unavoidable.

Everything seems lost.

But there is a tomorrow...there is possibility.

There are options and choices and chances

that, right now, you are not even capable

of imagining in your current

state of despair.

But even this...this struggle

and helpless sensation

and fear..

is giving you something you can use.

If only you can hang on, and believe,

and persevere.

And you can...

you can do it, even if you don't yet know it.

You are about to discover just how strong

and courageous you are...but it will take

being nearly destroyed for it to happen.

Push on.

This is a new life, a new chapter,

a new understanding.

Be open to the changes, without giving up.

Some day, you will find yourself,

as I have, with a new perspective

and an ability to transcend... that

gives you hope and appreciation

you cannot imagine...

from where you stand now.

***