Saturday, July 14, 2012

Begging and Choosing

People have assumptions about both the giver--
and receiver--of assistance.
Be sure to weigh carefully the actual need versus convenience of a
handout when accepting charity of any sort. Nothing is ever actually

Unless you're truly desperate, don't open yourself up as needy or
in dire straits to those in charge of doling out the handouts.
(There's a difference between asking for references, job openings,
or being hired as a favor, as opposed to something tangible like food
or cash.)

Everybody has an angle they're working and an agenda in mind, and
that includes people volunteering/working at a charitable organization.
For some, it's a desire to feel superior to others, for others, it's a want
of finding out the business of people in the community.

Sometimes, maintaining a psychological edge over opponents,
potential bosses, former co-workers, neighbors, etc. is a means of
keeping not only dignity but the upper hand for future business dealings.
Reputation still has its uses.

Just be aware of the dilemma and weigh your options carefully.
You surely don't want to end up the target of gossip, speculation, or
having your personal business bandied about town, especially in a smaller
community. There is no understanding of anonymity or common courtesy
requisite in any agency's dealings, especially a church's.

In a small town in particular, it's easy to have folks fall in love with the
notion of labelling you a 'poor thing' or refer to you as 'pitiful.'
"His luck is so bad; don't you know I saw him down at the church
getting rotten fruit!"  Avoiding such irreversible mindsets is preferable,
if you can help it.

People will pigeon-hole you and write you off any chance they get.
Don't let them.

(And of course the other side is "Fuck 'em whatever they think or
have to say!" But not everyone is ready for that!)